Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Drive-by

5dpIUI#2 quick check in.

I've been really good about not obsessing over every little thing. I think about it, but I'm not allowing myself to obsess. It's hard, but having other distractions makes it a little easier. It's when I'm bored that the thoughts start creeping in.

I have noticed a lot of CM, and I had some weird cramping last night and this morning, which I chalked up to gas/indigestion. Then this afternoon the beginnings of a cold sore popped up on the edge of my lip (dammit). I've never had one of those, and at first I didn't know what hell was growing and tingling on my lip. So, at lunch today I stopped into CVS and picked up a topical ointment for it which I really hope makes it go away. Not once did I think about whether or not I should use the ointment. I had totally forgotten. I chalked up the cold sore to all the stress I have going on at work. Which, speaking of stress, I have also managed to convince myself that this IUI didn't work for several reasons: 1) I have too much stress 2) The odds are against me 3) It would be far too easy, and things are never that easy 4) I am just not that lucky.

I feel that I likely will have to make a very difficult decision about whether or not to do IVF. And that freaks me out more than anything, because I still have doubts that creep up on me every now and then, especially during the 2WW.

4 comments:

  1. Ohhh.... you are at the stage of your 2ww where the pessimism sets in - to prepare for a "softer blow" in the event of a BFN. I've done that all but my first (and current) cycle. Give it time... it's not like you have a choice... the 2ww will end with time.

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  2. Actually sounds hopeful. Remember when I said I noticed a lot of CM and it seems to be anecdotally higher in cycles where fertilization occurs? Well, I actually found a paper that says both estrogen and progesterone are higher in 'fertilization' luteal phases. And since estrogen causes cervical mucus production, increased CM compared to a normal luteal phase is a sign that things *might* have worked.

    Keeping my fingers and toes crossed for ya!

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  3. No doubt about it, the tww is the worst. But as single mom 2b said, it will end... even though it will feel like a month, instead of two weeks.
    As for the increased CM, definitely a good sign!!

    Hang in there - you're almost half way through!

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  4. Hang in there...it's so hard to be hopeful...I find a nice balance between optimism & pessimism is the best place to be...yeah right, right?!?!

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