Tuesday, October 26, 2010


5dpIUI#2 quick check in.

I've been really good about not obsessing over every little thing. I think about it, but I'm not allowing myself to obsess. It's hard, but having other distractions makes it a little easier. It's when I'm bored that the thoughts start creeping in.

I have noticed a lot of CM, and I had some weird cramping last night and this morning, which I chalked up to gas/indigestion. Then this afternoon the beginnings of a cold sore popped up on the edge of my lip (dammit). I've never had one of those, and at first I didn't know what hell was growing and tingling on my lip. So, at lunch today I stopped into CVS and picked up a topical ointment for it which I really hope makes it go away. Not once did I think about whether or not I should use the ointment. I had totally forgotten. I chalked up the cold sore to all the stress I have going on at work. Which, speaking of stress, I have also managed to convince myself that this IUI didn't work for several reasons: 1) I have too much stress 2) The odds are against me 3) It would be far too easy, and things are never that easy 4) I am just not that lucky.

I feel that I likely will have to make a very difficult decision about whether or not to do IVF. And that freaks me out more than anything, because I still have doubts that creep up on me every now and then, especially during the 2WW.


  1. Ohhh.... you are at the stage of your 2ww where the pessimism sets in - to prepare for a "softer blow" in the event of a BFN. I've done that all but my first (and current) cycle. Give it time... it's not like you have a choice... the 2ww will end with time.

  2. Actually sounds hopeful. Remember when I said I noticed a lot of CM and it seems to be anecdotally higher in cycles where fertilization occurs? Well, I actually found a paper that says both estrogen and progesterone are higher in 'fertilization' luteal phases. And since estrogen causes cervical mucus production, increased CM compared to a normal luteal phase is a sign that things *might* have worked.

    Keeping my fingers and toes crossed for ya!

  3. No doubt about it, the tww is the worst. But as single mom 2b said, it will end... even though it will feel like a month, instead of two weeks.
    As for the increased CM, definitely a good sign!!

    Hang in there - you're almost half way through!

  4. Hang in there...it's so hard to be hopeful...I find a nice balance between optimism & pessimism is the best place to be...yeah right, right?!?!