Sunday, July 11, 2010

Beautiful Child

So yesterday I went to a Choice Moms meeting. I picked up a few nuggets of information and some new thoughts. One of the guest speakers was a fertility doctor and I chatted with her about my experience with the RE last week. She explained the problems with having either too short or too long of a cycle and it started me worrying again. She recommended doing all the tests the RE suggested to make sure my tubes aren't blocked and starting me on Clomid to get me on a "normal" cycle. So after that conversation I had a terrible sense of dread and was fairly upset. But, by the time I got home and had really thought about it some more, I'm not convinced that I'm as screwed up as they (both docs) seem to think I am. On one hand I feel like I'm being stubborn and arrogant (I'm not a doctor, so what the F do I know?) but on the other hand I think a longer cycle is just normal for me. I could see if my cycle was messed up and fluctuated drastically like 30 days one cycle and 40+ the next or if I was skipping cycles, but it's really only a couple of days longer. Then I had the brilliant idea that maybe it's genetic. So I called my sister and asked what her cycle was like before she had my nephew (who is now 13 months old and so freakin cute I can't stand it). And what do ya know? She said hers was a little screwy and usually around 35 days or so. She also said that she had been off birth control for about a year before she got pregnant the usual way with her husband and no doctors. Before I talked to her, I was set on calling Nurse M and scheduling tests and clomid and all that crap, but after talking to her, I'm going with my gut and until I'm proven otherwise, I think I'm just fine.

So after that wacky conversation about ovulation and periods, we talked a little about "do you really wanna do this?" She also managed to channel our mother (which is never good) and hurt my feelings by saying I didn't seem very maternal. I zinged her back by saying she doesn't really know me and how would she know when we talk maybe 6 times a year and I actually see her twice, in a good year. Christ, what does she want me to do? I can't help that I have limited experience with kids. There just haven't ever been any around until my nephew came along, and I've only seen him three times since he was born, but I think I've been good with him. He loves his Auntie! When people from work bring their kids in, they gravitate to me like moths to a flame. Just because I don't show my maternal, sappy side often, doesn't mean it's not there. Sheesh.

I know Stevie wrote this song about her relationship with Mick Fleetwood, but this version and video are so beautiful, I thought I'd share it. I will definitely be playing it for my pregnant belly when the day comes.


  1. Wow- that comment your sister made was not very sensitive. Thankfully, it doesn't matter what she thinks. It only matters what YOU think.

    That's great you went to a Choice Mom meeting! And what's up with RE #2?? Are they just trying to generate some business? I'm a firm believer in going with your gut. If things don't happen in a reasonable amount of time for you, you can always go in to see someone.

    LOVE Fleetwood Mac!

  2. You know your body better than anyone. If you want to try 1, 2 or 10 cycles with no meds and no monitoring, then you should!

    The only thing you need to sure about is that you know exactly when you're ovulating. Frozen sperm don't live long enough to be safe going with knowing within a few days, so symptoms like EWCM and cramping might not be enough. Have to monitored with basal temps and OPKs? If you can track your ovulation with OPKs, and the basal temps confirm ovulation, then you should be completely fine with no monitoring and no medication. I couldn't go that route, because I never get the smiley face on OPKs, but then again, I'm older and my fertility isn't as good as yours! :)

    I have never heard that song before - thank you for sharing. It made me tear up a bit (ok, a lot) and it's just beautiful.

  3. That should read, "have you monitored" not "have to". Oops!

  4. I always ran a few days long too, and it was never that big a deal. I totally could have gotten knocked up naturally before endo screwed everything up! I think you're fine lady, and I can't wait to hear how your trying goes! :)

  5. I agree with Shannon, knowing when you ovulate & getting your spermies in at the exact right time is very important.

    Best of luck!

  6. Yeah I have been monitoring with the BBT and OPKs and have been able to pinpoint ovulation, which is another reason why I refuse to believe the doctors.

    I've been plenty stressed (work) though which may screw it up. We'll just have to see what happens this cycle.

  7. S that is my favorite Fleetwood Mac song and not too many people know the song. I had the pleasure of seeing them perform it in concert! It is the most beautiful song and I too will be singing it to my baby!! You rock!!