Finally

I meant to update earlier but oh well.

I started cramping really badly last night and right before I went to bed I started spotting. This morning AF was in full force. YAY! Although I have been miserable. Bloated and crampy with heavier than normal flow.

I scheduled the HSG for Sep 7 (CD9) because with the weekend and holiday that was the earliest they would do it.

Tomorrow morning is my sonogram and blood work. I will probably start the clomid on Weds. I have reservations about the clomid because I have heard a lot of bad things about the side effects. I also worry about it causing ovarian cysts, but I'm probably being a nervous-nelly.

On the donor front: I have been looking and saving favorites at two banks' websites for some time now. And as donors get retired or have limited vials I delete them from my favorites and rerun my search criteria. I haven't ever ordered anything because I wanted to wait until I knew what the heck was going on. These things change all the time (availability of vials, donor status etc...) and I didn't want to spend the money until I knew I needed the swimmers for sure. Well, there has been one donor that I've had my heart set on for a long time. Initially he only had a couple of vials and I figured he'd be retired before I was ready. Last night, when I re-ran my search parameters, he popped up and this time he has over 25 vials! YAY! Except there's one problem. He's CMV positive and when I looked at my blood work (yes, I made the clinic send me copies) it looks like I'm negative. Damn. It. I am confused as to how on earth I could be negative. I have had chicken pox, shingles (yes shingles, at age 27) and cold sores. It makes no sense. I REALLY want to use him but I just don't know about the risks. I mean, no one chooses their mate based on CMV status. Hell, most people don't even know what the heck it is. So is it really that big of a deal? I wouldn't be so bent on this donor, except my criteria (which is limited to open ID, hair and eye color) only gives me a whopping total of 2 donors. I have a "back up" donor picked out at another bank, but I REALLY want Mr. CMV+ and I just don't know what to do.

Crap.

The Great Flo Watch of 2010

Today is CD65 and Flo is still a no-show.

I am actually okay with this for now, because if she showed up this weekend, it would have meant that TTC Round 2 would have had me needing to do IUI#2 the weekend I'm in California. Which wouldn't have worked. However, if AF would please make her appearance tomorrow (or even Tuesday) it would be good. Of course, I do know that IUI#2 could still end up needing to happen the weekend I'm out of town and cause me to skip a month, but at least the chances are slimmer now.

I have also pretty much decided that this cycle, I want to do two IUIs to maximize my chances, unless there's a good reason not to? Of course the doctor might have some say in it, but since I'm Captain of this ship, I'm going to make the calls.

I'm cool for now, just as long as that bitch Flo (the Aunt, not the Progressive girl) appears sometime this week.

Dayum

Flo is a no-show

My sister is pregnant. Again.

I should be the one who is 8 weeks along :(

*edited 15 mins after originally posting* I am now very angry. Not at my sister, but at the doctors (irrationally) and myself. I got aboard the TTC train back in June and was really wanting to start then. I feel like I got yanked around a little by the doctors and the testing bs. And now, here I am on day 62 and still waiting around. I know (now) that there are things you can take and do to start your cycle and I'm angry that I had to call the doctor's office (several times) and still ended up waiting.

And I'm still waiting for my period. I should be the one who's pregnant and due in April. Not my little sister who already has a baby.

And I'm irritated that she's due first and if by some miracle I manage to get a BFP this cycle, I'll be due about 2 months later, which to my highly hormonal and irrational state, I think the focus and attention will be all about her and my poor kid will end up being the "afterthought." Even though I know that's not the case.

ARGHHHHHHH!

Cramp Cramp Cramp

Today I'm 9 DPO, which means AF should be making an appearance this weekend. Yay! I have been cramping pretty badly this evening and it seriously makes me wonder if she's going to appear a few days early. Like tomorrow morning. I suppose this is a good thing. On one hand, it's great to get this show going a few days earlier than I thought. I have a plane ticket home for Columbus day which also happens to be right around the time I think I'd ovulate for round 2 if round 1 ends up as a BFN. If AF comes early in round 1 then this should push round 2 up a few days earlier as well and it wouldn't interfere with my travel. The downside is that it's a little early for AF and I'm paranoid that it would mean yet another problem.

I'm still mulling over telling my parents what's going on. They get here a week from tonight. I don't know why I don't want to tell them. I guess this is a big deal and we don't usually have big, awkward discussions about "Really Big Deals." I also suppose that I just don't want to rehash all the early crap I feel like I've gotten past and dealt with already. Add to that my mom's ability to be annoying with a gazillion questions and act like I haven't thought about anything. She also loves to blab our business to her "friend Cathy." She says it like that too. She and Cathy have been friends for at least 20 years, and she always acts like I don't know who Cathy is. *eyeroll* My mom is from Nebraska and says weird stuff like "I don't think this is appropriate for young ladies to see" (about sex scenes in tv/movies and referring to me and/or my sister), "oh EW! That's disgusting" (about gay stuff), she says "kee-you-pons" for "coupons" and sometimes she puts an "r" in words like "wash" and "Washington". She has lived in California for close to 40 years and still slips up on those.

Sorry, that mom vent came out of nowhere. Probably some stress related to the coming 14 days with her in my little 2 bedroom condo. I love my Mom, but most of the time I can only handle her in small doses and she'll go in one of two very different directions with this whole TTC thing. Dad on the other hand, will probably say something like, "awesome! It's about time you started doing something about that" and leave it at that. Dad is awesome like that; laid back and easy-going and whatever makes you happy. He's also the one who did some research on all the things that can happen/go wrong if you wait until age 35+ to have kids. You know, just to let me know. Silly Daddy, I'm well aware of those things.

Anyway, bedtime. It's way late.

Well

Today is CD52. I've been feeling crampy and whatnot for the last two days or so and had this strange feeling of annoyance that I think I'm just now ovulating. Which wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact that it's day FIFTY freakin TWO.  When I got home from work a few minutes ago, I decided to pee on what is my 37th OPK this cycle, and what do ya know? It's positive. Woo freakin Hoo. Now I get to wait another two weeks for AF to visit (but at least I do know when now), which puts me right in the thick of all the testing and medication while my parents are here visiting. My biggest concern is how to hide the shot in the fridge, which will be impossible. They are like two bears foraging for food and waste no time molesting my fridge. This now means that I get to go all into the whole business with them because that's how they are. I was really hoping for a positive pregnancy test that would actually allow me to skip over all this testing/issues nightmare. I mean, how do you tell your dad you don't have a normal menstrual cycle? Weird.

The upside is that my mom can give me the shot so I won't have to stick myself.

Wishful thinking?

I keep thinking I feel some cramps, but I'm sure I'm just imagining things. Or maybe it's digestion issues. It couldn't possibly be AF preparing to make an appearance this weekend?

That would be nice.

ISO FLO

*static* pshhhhhhhh *static*

Is this thing on?

ahem, ATTENTION PLEASE!
FLO? FLO? AUNT FLO?

AUNT FLO PLEASE COME TO THE CUSTOMER SERVICE DESK. YOUR MISTRESS IS DESPERATELY LOOKING FOR YOU!

CD46 and I've run onto page 2 of my cycle chart. boo.

Now what?

The weekend has come and gone and still, AF refuses to make an appearance. I don't even know what to think. This whole waiting-for-AF business is really screwing up my schedule for this cycle. I know, I need to learn to not be so impatient with things, but that's really quite impossible. It's just something I feel, and by the time I realize I'm being impatient and think "gee, I shouldn't be so impatient" it's too late. I'm already there.

Maybe tomorrow...

40

Ugh, today was CD40 and still nothing. No positive OPK, no AF, no symptoms or signs of anything except some mild bloating that I noticed this morning. Maybe, just maybe AF will come this weekend.  That would be nice.

I'm ready to get this show on the road.