Surprise!

Well guess who decided he didn't want to wait until his scheduled delivery appointment date and time? Yep, baby Chase is here and I am doing wonderfully.

Short version:
I woke up with different contractions on Thursday morning and figured that since I had a dr. Appointment that afternoon, I could wait until then and mention the change in braxton-hicks and the added back pain. I have to admit that I had a sneaky suspicion that it was labor, but I kept telling myself he was two weeks early.

I go to the appointment and doc says, "I think you're in labor", does a cervix check (OW!) and concludes that I was at 3cm. She sends me on my way to the hospital and baby Chase was delivered via c-section at 8:30 that night.

Oh, and he weighed 9lbs 1oz and was 21 inches long.

24 Days to go!

The countdown is getting serious now! And I am getting seriously rotund around the middle and having a darn hard time with my clothes (as is evident in my photo from tonight). This week someone (a guy on the elevator) asked if I was having twins and then he thought about it and asked if anyone has asked me that. I said nope, that he was the first of what is sure to be many in the coming weeks. I also had some random foreign lady reach out and rub my belly while I was getting my almost-daily slurpee at 7-11. It was hard not to kick her in the shins for doing it. I don't care if people I know want to cop a feel, but random foreign strangers? No thank you. Seriously? What is wrong with people?

I am having a hard time picking out a name. One of the names in my top 3 and the one I liked the best is/was Chase. I keep changing my mind about the names, but the one and only issue I have with Chase is that my sister named my newest nephew Chance and it's already screwing up my poor parents. I have been discussing names with my mom and dad from the beginning, but my sister refused to discuss potential names for my nephew. My mom has been voting for Chase for my son from the beginning, is okay with one of the other three names (but I have two issues with that name) and neither one of my parents likes the last of my three. I know I shouldn't care what any of them think/say or like about the names, but I feel like it's important and I want the input. But I admit, I have to think for a second before I say Chance's name because Chase wants to come out first, and since they'll only be about 3 months apart in age, I can see it being a lifetime of name mix-up in the family. I'm irritated with my sister over this because I just knew we would pick the same if not similar names, we did it with my first nephew too but I wasn't preggo then so no biggie. I have a feeling she'll be pretty irked with me if I name him Chase. Darn her but I'm inclined to not give a crap.

Tonight's photo: Yes, those are Care Bear pajamas.

Getting Closer!

I think I'm past that 30 week freakout, thank goodness. I'm nearly 34 weeks along now and it's going by so fast. My mom will be here in 4 weeks and my c-section is scheduled in 5 weeks. Let's just hope my little man stays put until then. He is sitting head down and extremely low in my pelvis and sometimes it's hard for me to sit down for fear of cricking his neck. He continues to move around quite ferociously and it's funny to see people watching my stomach get that look of horror as he makes it contort into weird shapes.

Work has settled down (I think) for now and something seems to have changed around the office. I've been treated a lot better lately and was even given the option to stay on nights with the skeleton crew if I want. I know at first thought that sounds awful, but it's actually good for me. The only time little one lets me sleep is in the early-morning hours, from about 5 or 6 to about 10am, so I have been getting some decent sleep. Also, not coming into the office until 2pm allows me to miss all the morning crazy and meetings and general running-around-chaos. I get a couple of hours of overlap (and the day's craziness is usually calmed down by then) and then it's all quiet from about 7pm until I go home at midnight. During that time, no one bothers me, I can get stuff done and keep my feet up most of the time. I have been trying to get a bunch of performance reviews done and other admin crap that will be due when I'm out so that quiet time has been really nice. The schedule also allows me to get all my appointments and odd errands done in the late mornings without having to worry about sneaking out of the office. Now, if we can start having weekends again things will be about as good as I could hope for.

I am quite round now lol (my big belly dwarfs my lovely D-cups!) but I haven't gained an ounce anywhere else but in the belly. I'm still wearing my pre-pregnancy undies. I actually went out and bought some granny panties for afterwards, but they are too baggy. It seems my hips haven't budged an inch (not complaining!), which makes me even more grateful that I went ahead and scheduled the c-section. He is measuring too big (a full week ahead of his dates!) and I'm just not up for hours and hours of labor to end with a c-section anyway. 

A belly picture from 32 weeks:

Approaching 30 weeks

This week I reach 30 weeks and I feel like I'm slowly losing it. The fear and panic of "what the hell have I done?" are starting to get to me. Work has been nothing but a nightmare with all the drama, assholes, long hours and weekend work. I don't know what I'm going to do if this continues after the baby comes. I can't work 12 hour days everyday and through weekends. I'll be damned if I'm going to have my baby in care every single day. Even if I only work 1 or 2 weekends a month, I'll still only get 4-6 days a month at best with my baby. What kind of life is that? They preach all the live long day about how family comes first but it's utter bullshit. The minute you say "I can't..." you lose face and any bit of respect you may have. That's one of the many downsides to the "good ol' boys" club. Then there's the "so what? Just because you're pregnant shouldn't mean you can't carry those boxes. Suck it up and quit complaining." I can't even talk about what happened when I inquired (after a fire drill) about the emergency evacuation procedures for people who can't climb 6 flights of stairs, without getting worked up and angry. I was given the eyeroll treatment and berated for "asking for special treatment." Then there's the enormous asshat who literally screamed at me, rattled off every beef, issue and complaint he had about me (he also threw in the "if you were male...." which bothers me so much I can't even explain) then called me an asshole (?) for making a snide remark when he shut a door (which requires badging and a combo) in my face as I was carrying a heavy box into the office last week. This was after I was sent to the warehouse (with bio-hazard in it) and told to retrieve some boxes off tall shelving. I am at my wits end at work. I have no recourse. If I file formal complaints, it would just make things so much worse for me. It's a temporary condition and I have to come back to work after I have my baby and will likely need any ounce of understanding I can get for those sick days and daycare issues. If I destroy my reputation by making formal complaints now, I'm doomed later and I will have NO hope of getting a transfer closer to home. But how can I get them to understand that it has nothing to do with me, that it's about keeping my baby safe and healthy?

I laid in bed, wide awake yesterday morning at 4 in full panic about work. I keep thinking that I need a different job, but the economy is so bad right now, I have absolutely no marketable skills and I can't afford a pay cut. Not to mention I have 13 years towards a pretty good retirement (granted, with 18 to go but still..) and most, if not all private sector employers no longer offer retirement packages and it would be terrible to let those years go to waste. I have pretty crappy benefits, but my health care is pretty good and it would suck to lose that. Ugh.

Then there's my dog issues. The testing I had run this past week all came back normal. This is good, but it's also bad because we still don't know what's wrong and I now need to take her for an ultrasound ($$) to check for the more serious possibilities. I have to work this weekend so today and tomorrow are out and I have my own ultrasound appointment next week and I can't take any time off. It's all so crazy. I'm desperately hoping for some time off next weekend (it's my birthday too) so it may have to wait until then. Just what I want to spend my birthday doing :`(

I have been so exhausted lately. It's bad enough that I can't hardly sleep, but everything else piling on has just wiped me out. So I am going to go to bed now and try to get some sleep.

Stress

I am approaching 29 weeks already. I can't believe how fast time is flying. The c-section has been scheduled, mom and dad have booked their flights and while there are still quite a few things I still need, I do have everything that's important to have in the first week.

Of course now things are starting to go awry elsewhere in my life. Mainly with my beloved dog. I rescued her on my birthday almost 6 years ago (it'll be 6 years in two weeks) so she's somewhere between 7-8 years old. I took her for her annual physical and all her shots this weekend and the vet informed me that she's obese. Now, I know she's overweight and it's been a battle we have struggled with for years, but she just seems to be putting weight on no matter what I do. Special foods, no goodies, NEVER table scraps, more exercise (although not as much as I'd like her to have) and she still adds on a few pounds every year to where she's now about 10-15 lbs overweight. This vet (new to the practice) ran some bloodwork and one of her liver enzymes came back through the roof indicating some kind of liver disease. I am devastated. I know it's early and I have to take her to the vet in the morning for some more tests, but I just can't help feeling so scared and unbelievably sad. I keep trying to tell myself that there's a good chance that whatever it is, we caught it early and hopefully it will be treatable, but I can't bear the thought of losing my fur-baby.

Then there's the money issue. I spent $650 for all the shots, the check up, the bloodwork and her heartworm preventative this weekend and will incur another $300 tomorrow for the tests. Then she will likely need an ultrasound sometime this week which the vet said will run another $400 if they don't have to do anything else. Ironic that I tried to get doggie insurance last year and the insurance denied her coverage because they thought something in her bloodwork was off. At the time the vet's office brushed it off and said it wasn't abnormal or anything to be concerned about. I have been so upset all day and I know it's NOT good for the baby. ~sigh~ it's always something going haywire in life. Things can't ever be easy can they?

25w3d

Things have been moving along at lightening speed lately. I can't believe I'm this far along and as big as I am. It's strange to have this 13.5lb bowling ball jutting out in front of me. The 13.5lb weight gain has gone ENTIRELY to mah belleh and is the source of much amusement all around. The doctor yesterday even joked that when she came in the room she thought she had the wrong patient for a second because from the back you can't tell at all.

I feel fine with the occasional cramp or weird twinge. He moves around ALL.THE.TIME and I swear he doesn't sleep. I know I don't get much sleep because he's goofing off in there. He loves playing with my bladder which isn't really a good time for me but what can you do? The last ultrasound I had we just sat and watched him kick at the wand and punch my bladder. The tech couldn't believe how active he was.

Placenta has moved a little and is now considered low-lying previa. I made the decision to go with the scheduled c-section (after calling the insurance company 3 times to MAKE SURE they covered it) and it is scheduled for 07/07/11 with a check in time of 0730 and procedure time of 0900. Awesome.

Gearing Up

I had a doctor's appointment last week and I am quite happy with the outcome. The doc I saw this time (I still haven't seen the same doc twice which is one of the downsides to going to a practice) was totally understanding of my situation and is on the same page as me regarding the aggressive monitoring of the previa. I now have another ultrasound appointment for March 18th. We also talked about my complete lack of support here and my parents being on the other side of the country and she offered an scheduled c-section if that was what I chose and wanted to do, but said I still had lots of time to think about it. I didn't even know that was an option. So, I have been researching, researching and reading up on everything I can find.

My personal opinion here, so no flames...  I find that there is an awful lot of preaching and judgment (opinions are a$$holes; everyone has one) on women who choose to have an elective c-section. Much like there is regarding breastfeeding. I have been inundated with the "are you going to breastfeed? It's best for the baby you know" question lately and it's annoying. My thoughts are this: I would like to breastfeed while I'm off of work. It's free, it's always there and I agree that the health benefits for the baby are the best. However, if it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out and I'm not going to let it stress me out or let anyone else tell me what to do, what I should do or make me feel like a failure and a bad mom for it if it doesn't happen.

Everyone's situation and medical history is different and with today's medical advances, no one has the right to pass judgement on me or tell me what to do or how to live my life. My personal opinion about those who birth without medical help is that they are completely insane. You wouldn't go to the dentist and say "gee doc, I want to be Super!Patient, so please do my root canal without any anesthesia or pain relief." At the end of the day, there's no award ceremony and no one places in a top 10 birthers list. It's not a competition. Everyone (hopefully) goes home with a baby no matter how that baby was brought into the world. And when someone brags that they did it completely natural, I don't sit there in awe and amazement, I think they're crazy, ridiculous and weird. It's 2011 you know, medical advances are awesome.

As for the c-section; My list of pros is far longer than the list of cons and if the insurance company continues to say that they'll cover it (this is a huge worry) then I'm leaning towards wanting to do it. Besides, there is a good chance that I may end up needing to have one anyway with my super-narrow hips (I'm still in a size 0 and have gained a whopping 8lbs) and the previa so I'd rather just have that be the plan all along. The LAST thing I want to do is go through hours and hours of labor (and stress on the baby) and end up having one anyway.

Now for the fun stuff. I finally chose a crib, dresser, stroller system (the lightest I could find, Graco Spree travel system in Barcelona Bluegrass, 10% off your first order for new customers at diapers dot com) and pack n' play. I ordered the dresser, stroller and a diaper bag already and my mom is going to order and ship me the crib and pack n' play. The rest of the necessities are on my registry and I'll (try to) hold off buying anything else until closer to baby's arrival.