Sorry I haven't posted in a while. The exhaustion has hit me like a ton of bricks. My body shuts down whenever it wants (which is about every 4 hours or so) despite my fierce determination to not let it do so. It's a battle I always lose. I crashed for about 15 mins on my keyboard this morning before lunch and was left with some interesting marks across my face much to the amusement of my officemates.
They don't know yet, and I have decided to tell everyone at the holiday party next week. I'll be at 10 weeks and won't know anything more than I do now or will know until after the new year. More about that:
I had my first OB appointment last week and was left feeling very disappointed. No ultrasound to check on my little one so I have no idea what's going on in there. It's so hard to believe it's real without that confirmation. I wasn't too impressed with the office. It was extremely busy and it took me 30 mins to find a place to park, which ended up being two blocks over and illegally parallel parked. This will not fly when I'm enormous come July in the stifling heat and humidity. I also didn't actually see a doctor, but a nurse instead. I don't really have much of a problem with that though because she looked like she's been doing this since before I was alive and probably had more experience than all of the doctors in the practice put together. I still didn't like her too much though and I felt that I was just another "new patient", which I know is true, but I still think some consideration should be put into patient history. I flat out refused the pap smear and basically smacked her hands away when she tried to do a breast exam. I mean really? My tits feel like a pair of lead balloons hanging painfully off my chest and you want to knead and manhandle them? Um, NO. I had a FULL gyno workup in April before I started this whole business and it didn't need to be done again. They redid all the bloodwork, even though I had it all done at the clinic not 3 months ago before I had the IUIs and had the records with me. I asked about ultrasounds and she said they didn't have a machine so they don't do them. I was like "What?! How can an OB office not do ultrasounds?" I guess they send you off to some other place to have the one or two you get through the whole pregnancy. That was disappointing too. I went ahead and scheduled the 1st trimester genetic screening (primarily so I can get a peek at the baby) and convinced the nurse to give me a referral to go have an ultrasound to check because of the severe cramping I have been having. Hopefully I can get in for that before I go home for Christmas.
Gah. This is so damn stressful sometimes. Not to mention the pregnancy crazies are in full force. Complete with OMG!Crazy!Pregnant!Woman!RAGE! There have been a couple of occasions where I have envisioned some seriously violent actions that would make Quentin Tarantino proud. Hee, I love him. Seriously though, it does scare me because I carry a gun and it's just so (scary!) tempting sometimes. This morning some asshole tried to run me off the road because he didn't want to let me merge in when my lane ended. I looked over and there he is, about an inch away from me, flipping me the bird. I sped off and got ahead of him on the shoulder and ditched him but jeeze, I REALLY wanted to ram his piece of shit truck and shove my gun in his mouth and ask him what a big macho man like him though about trying to bully a girl like me now, and that he should really think about who he tries to intimidate and if it's worth it. Ending with a kick in the groin and him groveling, begging for his life.
See what I mean? OMG!Crazy! Thank goodness for the anonymous blogosphere. I couldn't tell anyone else this without risking commitment to the looneybin.
Congrats on your progress! I'm disappointed for you about not getting the ultrasound... are you going to check out other practices? Seems really strange, plus with the terrible parking situation... The rage scene you describe would fit perfectly in the next Tarantino film.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if you can get the u/s at another practice.. Take it easy. You are doing fine.
ReplyDeleteThat just sucks. I would be annoyed with all that happened to you. But remember it is never too late to change Dr's or even to a mid wife!
ReplyDeleteI have to agree that is very strange about the practice not having an ultrasound machine--not terribly convenient.
ReplyDeleteThe scene you described made me laugh...particularly the last part!
Yeah, really, can you get another ob? My first OB appt was a "hi how are you?" with the doc, a quick pelvic (but no pap) and a swab for STDs and that was it. She would have done an u/s though, if I hadn't just had one the day before at my REs.
ReplyDeleteMy second appointment was a long one with a midwife and was wonderful. In fact, I'm seeing her again tomorrow instead of the doctor!
Pregnancy is too wonderful and magical and scary to be going to a practice you aren't comfortable with - is there anyone else you can go to?
LOL at your fantasy with the jerk in the truck. Sounds like the sort of fantasies I'd have - well, if I carried a gun. :)
I'd be looking at other OB options...can't they refer you to have an U/S elsewhere? Like Shannon said, you shouldn't have to be uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteI had a similar hormone induced road rage incident (minus the gun;)) at about 9 weeks...this lady was driving like a maniac then cut me off, well I raced up beside her screaming...then realized what I was doing & was so ashamed of myself! She was in the wrong but my reaction was way over the top!